During this whole pandemic, I’ve been finding it difficult to work without having a meltdown, losing motivation or getting worried about almost everything and everyone. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
A few weeks ago, when we were forced back into lockdown, we started our latest project. However, literally, the third day in, we were forced to pack our essentials and go back into lockdown. Since then, I’ve been doing my work online.
Unfortunately, almost like the last lockdown, it’s been a real struggle. Shortly after we went into lockdown, my parents and I received word from our family across that one of my uncles caught the virus that’s been plaguing the world since December 2019. It was hard enough to work after hearing one of my friends took his life last year after coming out of lockdown, but now hearing about a family member catching it and spending two whole weeks with praying thoughts and worries? It was just too much. Fortunately, he’s recovered.
But then there’s all the work I’ve tried to do. All month, I’ve tried to keep motivated, but because of my uncle’s case, I was having a hard time to keep track that I fell behind a little. There’s just so much on my mind, I feel like by the time we’ve come out of lockdown, or if we go into a third, my mind will shatter.
What’s bothering me most of all though, is how much the world has gone into chaos. The Isle of Man is basically flooding all over again, England’s back in lockdown, my friends can’t go back to University and having to continue their studies online, I can’t do anything to help them and to top it all, a riot occurred in Washington DC a few weeks back and innocent lives were lost!
All this turmoil… devastation… and unable to see anyone… it’s enough to make even the purest of hearts lose themselves. I’ve never felt so helpless… so alone…
Aside from that, I’ve been keeping up to date with all of my lessons. Trying hard not to miss one. However, using Teams or having to communicate via Zoom is getting more and more difficult since we’ve been experiencing problems with the internet. I can hardly go on Itslearning, Facebook, or even my other social media accounts without something going wrong. This complicates things as there are some bits of research I need to do which I’ve been struggling to do due to this issue, which has also caused me to get a little side-tracked.
With the lessons such as Ceramics and Illustration, I’ve been doing well. I’m working on an armature and a book cover which I hopefully start creating next week. For now, it’s all experimentation and planning. For Fine Art, I’ve been doing my best to keep, but there are some bits I still need to do what I should have done a while back. Graphics has undoubtedly been my most difficult subject as I wasn’t able to join the meetings because of the problems I was facing with Teams at the time. However, I’ve kept tabs with my teacher via Zoom chats so I’m up to date. Meanwhile, Animation and Visual Studies have definitely been my most active sessions as I’m kept busy doing sketches and storyboarding for an animation I’m eager to start.
After all is said and done, I’m hoping we’ll be out of this nightmare soon. The moment we’re allowed to visit others and go abroad, I’m heading straight to see friends and family. I need closure and need to be around people who understand me and can help me recover. As for this project, I’m going to try the best I can to get everything done on time and finish the works. Once done, it’s on to planning for Final Major Project. Hopefully.
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